On Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is not a byproduct. As a younger man, I attributed my lack of self-confidence to a lack of concrete competency in known areas – work, art, public speaking, social life – and assumed that greater confidence would be derived directly from growth in these areas. Though those things have co-evolved, I don’t think there’s as much causality between them as I expected. As I’ve come to understand myself more deeply, self-confidence is not a matter of acknowledging my aptitudes, but rather a matter of becoming comfortable with my weaknesses, and loving myself nonetheless. This sort of inner peace can make growth feel more natural and less disruptive, so it almost feels as if the causality runs the other way: self-confidence towards growth.